what do you say when you go to confession

3 min read 05-02-2025

what do you say when you go to confession

Going to confession, also known as Reconciliation or Penance in some traditions, can be a deeply personal and sometimes daunting experience. Knowing what to say can ease anxiety and help you make the most of this sacrament. This guide provides a framework, but remember, honesty and sincerity are key. God understands your heart, even if your words stumble.

Understanding the Structure of Confession

Most Catholic churches follow a similar structure for confession. While the exact wording isn't prescribed, understanding the general flow can help you prepare.

1. Begin with the Sign of the Cross

Start by making the Sign of the Cross, silently or aloud, invoking the Holy Trinity. This sets a reverent tone for your confession.

2. The Act of Contrition

Many begin with an Act of Contrition, a prayer expressing sorrow for sins. You can use a traditional prayer or express your contrition in your own words. This demonstrates your remorse and willingness to change. Examples include:

Traditional Act of Contrition: "O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell; but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life."
Personal Act of Contrition: "God, I am sorry for the ways I have hurt you and others. I regret my actions and want to change."

3. Confessing Your Sins

This is the heart of the confession. Be honest and specific about your sins. Don't minimize or downplay them. It's helpful to:

Name the sins: Don't just say "I've sinned." Specify what you've done, e.g., "I have lied to my friend," "I have been impatient with my family," or "I have gossiped about others."
Be specific about the frequency: If you committed a sin repeatedly, mention how often. This helps the priest understand the gravity of the situation and offer appropriate guidance.
Express remorse: Show genuine sorrow for your actions. This isn't just about feeling bad; it's about acknowledging the harm you've caused and your desire to change.
Don't be afraid to ask for clarification: If you're unsure whether something is a sin, don't hesitate to ask the priest for guidance.

Example: "Father, I confess that I have lied to my boss about being sick, and I have gossiped about my coworker, causing conflict between us. I am truly sorry for my actions, and I intend to be more honest and considerate in the future."

4. The Priest's Absolution

After you've confessed your sins, the priest will offer words of absolution, forgiving you in the name of God. Listen attentively and receive this grace with humility.

5. Penance

The priest may assign a penance, such as saying certain prayers, performing acts of charity, or engaging in spiritual practices. This is intended to help you repair the harm caused by your sins and grow in holiness.

What NOT to Say During Confession

Don't be vague or generalize: Avoid statements like "I've been a bad person" without specific examples.
Don't interrupt the priest: Let the priest guide the process.
Don't be ashamed or embarrassed: God loves you and wants to forgive you. Your priest is there to help you, not to judge you.

Preparing for Confession

Reflect on your life: Take time before confession to examine your conscience and identify areas where you've fallen short.
Pray for guidance: Ask God to help you be honest and open in your confession.
Choose a quiet place: Find a peaceful environment where you can reflect and prepare your heart.

Overcoming Fear and Anxiety

Feeling anxious before confession is normal. Remember:

God's mercy is infinite: He is always willing to forgive.
The priest is there to help: They are trained to listen with compassion and understanding.
Focus on your desire for forgiveness: Your sincere desire to repent and change is what matters most.

Going to confession is an opportunity for healing, growth, and reconciliation with God. By preparing and approaching the sacrament with honesty and humility, you can experience the transformative power of God's grace. Remember, the most important aspect of confession is your sincere desire to amend your life. God's love and mercy are always available.